Just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this demo, and you might just have secured yourself a sale down the line.
It's an interesting first episode, and I'm engaged enough to want to see more, but you have plenty of room to expand.
I'll admit this now, I'm not the biggest fan of visual novels, so do take what I say with a grain of salt if it comes off as missing the point or anything like that, but even if you decide to do a linear story with small elements of interactivity, you can make those interactive elements much more engaging.
For starters, the choices given in this episode appear, for the most part, minor at best. From whether you try sleeping in or getting up early, to how you react to being attacked by the Crystal Clock being, most of what you can choose quickly loops back to the main story, and doesn't feel too impactful. You don't need to make every choice change the story that much, especially with the episodic format you're following with no sign of any carrying over choices or anything like that, but there is a way to still make your dialogue choices feel important. Have what you say or ask reveal more information, and exclude other bits of information to the player. I have no idea who that kid who saves you is, but I now know what those monsters are called. Having what you gain or lose be information allows you to make the choices feel important without greatly altering the linear narrative.
I would also suggest that you alter the inventory system by not highlighting which item you need to use at which time. Imagine if when the lights in the train go out, you were prompted to use an inventory item, but not told which one was correct. You now need to use the context of the situation to realize you could use your phone as a light. You could even expand scenes like that where using the wrong item results in a quick GAME OVER where a monster gets you because you didn't use the right item. Or at the very least, if the stakes aren't that high when you use an inventory item, a character can make fun of you for picking the wrong item at that time, and then you're given another chance to pick an item.
Little additions like that would push this game a long way, I think. Maybe that's not what you're going for though, and it is meant to be more of a straight forward experience without much pull on the player, but I think if you're going to tell a story involving player engagement, find what things you can do, and go all out with them.
Really nice suggestions, thanks for the detailed review! I definitely might try out your inventory idea... :-D
This was a really cute and funny homage to the site. Had a lot of good laughs with this.
I gotta say, this was a really enjoyable game. Cute and visually appealing art style, great humor, and a surprisingly solid combat system. At first I thought the fights would be too easy since there was no sort of experience system, but the addition of various attacks and moves as the game went on turned each fight into a neat little puzzle of sorts. Overall, this a really nice little experience, and if you wanted to expand this concept into a full adventure game/RPG, I think there'd be room to do it. Maybe multiple kids to control, new combat systems, larger puzzles, experience, that sort of thing.
Whatever the case, great game! Will love to see more of your work in the future.
As a demo or proof of concept, this game is fantastic!
I really think with further expansion, more levels/mechanics, maybe a story, and other features to grow the game, this could be really good.
Maybe a number of boss fights in a row, till the final boss. Unlock new priests with different mechanics and with their own endings.
This was a very enjoyable game. Sure, it's pretty easy, but damn does it feel good to play. The gunplay is great, the sure destruction is great, the humor is silly and on point, and for a short little project, it's really solid.
The only real issues I had with it were the boomerang and missile upgrades being pretty slow and unruly to work with, and the game just sort of ending, but besides that, A+ from me.
Don't got much to say other than I liked it.
10/10 I cry everytime
I really loved this game.
-The gameplay was simple to learn but difficult to master
-The story was simple yet well written and interesting to learn about
-The game's variety in welcome and kept things from getting boring
-The player choice was engaging and very appreciated
I just wish that the game was longer and that choices you made during the story had an impact on your ending somehow.
I like the artstyle, but seeing as how the game ends right after you knock off the first guy, I gotta rate this down.
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